When Fifty Shades of Grey’s book was released, I knew nothing about it. I had never really hard of it, and really didn’t find out much until the movie was made. I had so many many thoughts and opinions on the movie, but I’m not so much a movie person so watching it was not on my Top 10 Things To Do.
Many said that the book and movie was not appropriate for a “christian”. That you were being hypocritical if you did watch the movie or read the book. As a “spiritual” person, I just stayed out of the discussions and left my thoughts and opinions in my mind. Truthfully though, how could I judge something I knew nothing about.
My church, The Journey, decided to have a series called “Fifty Shades of Grey”. It was a 5 week discussion on “Is Life Always Black and White or Is There A Shade of Gray”? In other words, is everything as simple as it may seem. Is there such a thing as right and wrong? And if so, has it been decided for us? And who decided it?
Can right and wrong change? And if there is areas of life that are grey, what are they? A grey area for one person, may be black and white to another.
In reality, right and wrong is nothing more than what is truth. But is there objective truths? Are there facts that acknowledge the truth no matter if agree with them or not? But if we are not the ones who get to decide what right and wrong is? Then who does?
Why is it we all agree these things are wrong? Is it because we believe there is a source for all moral rightness and that is God himself. So morality is black and white, not grey, and right and wrong has been set.
But has it?
The series went on to discuss natural appetite. God gave us sexual appetite. The problem isn’t our sexual desires, its what we do with our sexual behavior that is the problem. Is our sexual desires or behaviors hurting anyone?
The service went on to say, the Bible states that our sexual desire was given to us for marriage and that my body belongs to my spouse and vise versa. And that we should fulfill each others sexual needs.
Please understand me, I do not condemn cheating in a marriage nor condemn multiple partners. But I do believe that if God gave us sexual desires, and that our bodies belong to our partners, then what we do sexually between us is rectifiable. My hubby has sexual fantasies, and I have sexual fantasies as well, but understand that the fantasies are with each other, in our home, behind closed doors.
My husband respects me and my body, just the same as I respect my husband and his body. How we decide to respect and love our spouses bodies I believe is our choice. My husband would never ask me to do something that I would not want to do. You have to know your limits, where permission ends and abuse begins. But with that being said, I love my husband enough to push my limits to give him pleasure and he pushes his limits with my as well.
But I know that there is complete consent between myself and my husband on all levels of our sexual desires. And I believe that as consenting, married adults, we can read or watch Fifty Shades, and it will not hinder us in our relationship. To be honest, if anything, it allows us to freely express ourselves with each other. It reminds us that our bodies belong to each other and that we should want to please each other completely.
What I learned from our church series, is that God is the truth, and that even though we all have natural sexual desires, they can be used the wrong way. But in reality “We Are All A Little Fifty Shades of Grey”, or in better words, We Are All A Little Fifty Shades of FUCKED UP! No, as absurd as it seems, I am not perfect. I never have led anyone to believe, even through my spirituality, that I am perfect. My life is not all black and white. I possess lots of shades of grey. And we all need to be honest with each other and stop denying that we all have shades of grey in our life. If we didn’t, we wouldn’t need a Savior. The grey areas remind us that we are Fucked Up humans, who like to defy the rules.
After that series, I become very curious about the book and movie. So my hubby and I decided to watch it together, and in reality I loved it.
See as a book lover, I go for the story lines. and what a story line it was. Good Job E.L, James. I automatically went and bought the trilogy and I couldn’t leave Grey out, so I picked that up as well. The movie has nothing on how amazing the books really are.
Of course I probably viewed the story line and the concept totally different than others did. See, I don’t even think about the sex when I am reading a good book, or watching a good movie. I just relate to the story. For some, they can’t get passed a naked body, which is rather very sad, because they are missing out on the whole concept of the creative art that was produced. Yes, there was sex, yes there was bondage, but what I got from the books was a guy emotional damaged from his less than normal childhood. A little boy who was starved, burned and watched his mother slowly kill herself from drugs.
Yes, as sad as it is, for many of us we can relate to similar childhood experiences. And just like Christian, we don’t know how to control the emotions that we feel. We all find ways to cope whether it is alcohol, drugs or even sex. Christian found his outlet by letting someone else have complete control over him. And for him it saved him from himself. But still he never felt worthy of love. He never felt accepted for who he was. The emotional scars never went away.
He soon changed from letting someone have complete control him, to being the one in control. That was until he meet Ana. See Ana was Christian’s saving grace. She was the one who could show him love, show him he was worthy and make him feel alive again. And as the story goes on to tell, we find that slowly Christian does change, that he begins to let people in. He begins to feel emotions and learn to control them the right way. But most of all, he learns he is worthy to be loved as himself.
This story reminds me that no matter how fucked up our lives may be, that there is always one person who is willing to stand by us. They will love us for who we are, and they will continue to remind us of how worthy we are and how much our life means. That person is our Savior. I have always believed that God chooses certain people (and my own opinion, animals) to be our earthly angels. To help us continue when we don’t believe we can. In Fifty Shades, Ana, to me, represents an angel brought into Christian’s life to save him from himself.
So my church may have perfectly stated accurate facts from the Bible on truth, sexual desires and shades of grey, but because they didn’t take the time to watch the movie or read the book, (because of the sex Hollywood promotes), they actually missed the big picture and an amazing opportunity to teach love and acceptance, and that no matter where you are in life, there is someone who loves you and who can take away the emotional scars and make you whole again.